I got it!!

I've been thinking yesterday about the complicated relationship between mother and daughter (can't live with her, can't live without her...), becoming a new mom for my newborn daughter, i don't think it's too early to think about that...

and then it suddenly hits me: being a mom is all about bonding with your daughter.  I mean, of course, being mum means you have to think about your daughter's health, food, educations, relationship with her friends...but for now, being a mom for me is about that: bonding with my daughter.

She still drinks formula milk and breastfeed, so I don't have to fret about her food as long as the formula suits her fine.  We have a nanny to watch her while she's sleeping during the day so I have my own times and do other things.  She's well provided for other things.

But see, here's one thing she needs from me:  me.  My attention, my communicating to her without words that I love her.  Me touching her hands, stroking her cheeks, soothing her, telling her comforting words when she cried over soiled diapers, while she wait for the milk to be ready.  
Last nite she was up for no reasons: having just been fed, diapers still clean.  and she started to cry.  I dunno what happened, but somehow I know not to be panic, to hold her in my arms, hold her closer to me, hugging her, and singing lullaby to her.  Somehow I felt perfectly calm and my love for her just...flowing...

And you know what??? she calms down!  she stopped crying.  She stared at me calmly, and soon her eyes started to close.  She looked SO SO cute when she tried to keep them open, but soon she just slept.  slept awefully well too.

That's when i realize: this thing is irreplacable.  I could get nanny, could send her to the best school, could clothe and hired a nutritionist to make sure she eats good for cryin out loud: the point is, for other things, you can spend money to provide for your child, but not bonding.

Not that relationship though, unsaid words between parents and children.  That, you need to work on.  That, you need to establish.  That, gives you a true thrill of being parents...