The Princess and The Bodyguard
Friday, March 6, 2009
Book for March '09
'Love means not ever having to say you're sorry.'From Love Story, by Erich Segal
At first, the words may not make sense; as I told my colleague, if you're acting like an ass or a bitch to your significant other, of course you have to say you're sorry.
But after reading this book, what it said makes perfect sense.
If you truly love someone, you don't need to say you're sorry, because, well, won't that person become the most important reason in your life that you treat him or her with such respect and devotion so that you won't ever slight them? Then again, maybe not. After all, I know how easily it is to treat a complete stranger with exquisite manners and then turn around and yell to your loved ones because, really, shouldn't they know better?
But again, if you truly love someone, shouldn't you accept that person's flaws as well? Shouldn't you be forgiving without having to ask that person to apologize first?
I know that when I quarrel with my Ming, and those incidents are not infrequent believe you me, and he said he's sorry (though sometimes, very seldom occasions I tell you, quite rare really, that the fault is mine), somehow his sorry is not what I want to hear. It's not what I need. It doesn't lessen the pain, so to speak.
Sometimes, what I want from him is to really listen to how I feel about the whole thing, and understand. My feeling and thoughts may be ridiculous according to him, it doesn't make any sense and he even may think I'm wrong, and maybe I am, but above all else, I can say with utmost certainty, that I don't need, or want, his sorry.
I want his understanding; I want him to go the extra miles in not only understanding but also accepting the twisted mind of a hormonal and irrational-at-times woman he vows to love for better or worse till death do us part. Just because. Just because with this woman, it's different. Just because this woman is his wife, his significant other, the mother of his child. Just because he loves this woman.
And that is how I see this book all about. Loving someone without motives. Loving someone just because.
When you read this book, you may get different message, or no message at all. I don't think the author meant to impart life-changing experience for the readers. But for me, well, it conveys perfectly in words what I've been trying to grasp, what i try to tell Ming after we have all those fights that really, he doesn't ever have to say he's sorry. Just Because.
But after reading this book, what it said makes perfect sense.
If you truly love someone, you don't need to say you're sorry, because, well, won't that person become the most important reason in your life that you treat him or her with such respect and devotion so that you won't ever slight them? Then again, maybe not. After all, I know how easily it is to treat a complete stranger with exquisite manners and then turn around and yell to your loved ones because, really, shouldn't they know better?
But again, if you truly love someone, shouldn't you accept that person's flaws as well? Shouldn't you be forgiving without having to ask that person to apologize first?
I know that when I quarrel with my Ming, and those incidents are not infrequent believe you me, and he said he's sorry (though sometimes, very seldom occasions I tell you, quite rare really, that the fault is mine), somehow his sorry is not what I want to hear. It's not what I need. It doesn't lessen the pain, so to speak.
Sometimes, what I want from him is to really listen to how I feel about the whole thing, and understand. My feeling and thoughts may be ridiculous according to him, it doesn't make any sense and he even may think I'm wrong, and maybe I am, but above all else, I can say with utmost certainty, that I don't need, or want, his sorry.
I want his understanding; I want him to go the extra miles in not only understanding but also accepting the twisted mind of a hormonal and irrational-at-times woman he vows to love for better or worse till death do us part. Just because. Just because with this woman, it's different. Just because this woman is his wife, his significant other, the mother of his child. Just because he loves this woman.
And that is how I see this book all about. Loving someone without motives. Loving someone just because.
When you read this book, you may get different message, or no message at all. I don't think the author meant to impart life-changing experience for the readers. But for me, well, it conveys perfectly in words what I've been trying to grasp, what i try to tell Ming after we have all those fights that really, he doesn't ever have to say he's sorry. Just Because.
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