Glimpse of Married LIfe (Wife Perspective)

On trying to come to term with the fact that your beloved husband spent hours playing game:

V(ivi): Honey, Can I ask you something?

M(ing): Sure

V: When you spend hours and hours playing game, was it because before you got married and still living with your parents, you're too anxious and not pleased with the whole situation and couldn't find a moment's peace there so that after you got married, you're content with having your own family and just want to enjoy yourself and play games?

M: err.....what was the question again?

V: I mean, are you so happily married to me that you feel you can spend hours playing game because you're just that content ?

M: Of course

V (Smiling happily): that it makes you happy just staying at home with me, not doing anything, playing your game and knowing I'm around?

M: Yes, that too.

V (Smiling more): So, it's not that you ignoring me when you play games?

M: Don't be ridiculous.....

V (Smiling -if that's possible-- even widely more)

M: ......I Ignore everybody when I play games

V (NOT smiling): .........

Happy Valentine!!

Today is the fourth Valentine I have with Ming, but it is the FIRST time we celebrate it.

Well, I have to add that since yesterday was the day Ming returned from a week long trip abroad, we did have an impromptu "early" celebration.  If you know what I mean.

But, Ming has, or at least, had, always been somewhat an opponent of Valentine's Day.  As a matter of fact 14 February 2006, our first Valentine when we're still dating, was the only day when we did not go out to eat/watch movie/ window shopping (yup, while we're dating, we went out EVERY single day until 19 May 2006, when I was not supposed to meet him until 21 May 2006 when we got married).  

In fact, we spent that day watching Star Wars III (pirated CD, of course) from a laptop in my house, while at the same time listening to his many complaints on the commercialized, overrated, Valentine's Day.

I didn't mind, am not an over the top romantic myself, and we did go out so much that it was actually a relieve just staying home then.

And last year, Ming was abroad during Valentine.  I forgot what we did in 2007.

Anyway, so this morning when I woke up, he just said, "Happy Valentine!" and I said the same to him, thinking that was it.  And probably a nice dinner later on.

I took a shower and got ready... looked up in my wardrobe for a shirt, and then look down to find a matching skirt, and I thought, hm...that's weird...how come my skirts was pushed to the left side?  and then, I saw it.

A very pretty flower pot with heart-shaped chocolates at the bottom and a nice stuffed animal next to it...

and the first thing, THE VERY FIRST THING that came to my mind was.... "Who's having a new baby?  Who's sending the first-month-new-baby-celebration-package to me and more importantly, what the fu$% is it doing in my wardrobe??  and what were those maids thinking, placing an edible package here?  Are they so unbelievably...."

Oh.

OH (loud Gasp)

Then I heard Ming from our bedroom next door, "HAPPY VALENTINE!!"

I ran and jumped on our bed like a silly sixteen year old girl and hugged him and kissed him and just lying next to him, curled on the crook of his arm for the next five minutes.  Smiling giddily and feeling....content.  

Fine.  I got teary-eyed too.  There, i admitted it.  Am a girl after all, and this is certainly a heart-warming surprise.  

Of course, Ming tried to say his annoying joke, but I cut him off and said, "You will not ruin this perfect moment for me!" and returned next to him blissfully.  He didn't say a word after that.  He didn't need to.  He just hugged me.  

Until he told me, "Honey, I can't feel my arm"

hihihihihi....I know I have to get up then....

We arrived in the office pretty late.  

Neither of us care.

Can't stop smiling since....

Dimarahi Felicia....

Kemarin aku pura pura tidur diranjange felicia sambil meluk "guweng" e.  Although I don't think she considers her guling as sort of security blanket, she's still a bit more touchy about her guling more than she is about her other belongings, including her "(Th)Omas".  

Anyhow, true enough, she screamed, but i ignored her.  After all, I want to point out to her that screaming won't get her anything nor anywhere, at least with me.  She screamed twice more. I still ignored her, pretending to sleep.

Then she smacked me in the head, waved her forefinger in front of me, tilt her head to the side a bit, looked at me straight in the eye and said, "Vi, No!"

I looked at her.  Shocked.  Dumbfounded.  Astonished.  Rendered speechless.

Then she said again, "Viiii, no no no no!" with more determination.

and she's not even 1.5 years yet!

Have I told you that my daughter is a genius?

Felicia...at sixteen months!

Yesterday Felicia was exactly 16 months young....

But I didn't get to see her until 8:30 pm since I have to work overtime, and Lawrence is also away to India until the end of the week (but will be back in town just in time for Valentine!! -- not that we have any special plan...)

Anyway, Just few days ago I woke up in the morning and when I saw Felicia, I realized that my lil daughter is getting prettier!!! hihihi....she is, truly.  I love the way her face lit up when she smile, the sparkle in her eyes can brightened my day anytime!.

She learns so many new words, she can pronounce my name perfectly: "Vivi", not pipi.  She sometimes called me like that, "Vivi!!" instead of "mama" hihihi....her naughty dad tought her that, and my mom encouraged her sometimes....I honestly don't mind, because she only said it when she was teasing me while playing Peek A Boo...only this time she did the hiding behind the door then said "Baaa!!" to me and if I didn't notice her, she'd said "Vi!!" hehehehe....And when I asked her what's her dad's name, she answered, "Ming (M)ing"

Last time I asked her, "Felicia, how old are you?"  and she said, "Dua!"  I tried to correct her, saying that she's only one year old, but she wouldn't have it.  

Then I asked her again, "Felicia, mau adik?"  She was quiet for a while, then said, "Mau".  I'm not so sure if she knows what is the meaning of "Adik", so I asked her, "Felicia, Adik kalo nangis gimana?"  She said, "Oek oek".  "Jadi Felicia mau adik ya?"  "Iya"  and at that time, she's not even 16 months yet!!!

She can also said (Se)peda, Tu(r)un, Tas, Hat, Buang, Ambi(l), (Em)peng, Cucu, Mo wes....And she's now in that stage where if she didn't get what she wants, she'd screamed till your ear hurts.  

I tried to teach her to say "No!" if she doesn't like something.  However, usually she only remembered to say "No!" (complete with waving her index finger, copying me when I told her "No!") only after she screamed her lungs out.

I'm teaching her to say "Please" now, but not yet successful, although if she's in a good mood, she'd automatically said "S(hi)e  S(hi)e" if her nanny gave her something she asked (her pacifier, her toys)

She also LOVES high-fiving us hehehehe....but this is purely based on her mood.  She has no particular reasons or under no special circumstances...I think she considered it a game...in which when the nanny didn't high-fiving her on time, she'll smack her nanny instead....

Another favorite past time is to push one of the plastic chair around, and lifting the other...her nanny once said, "Felicia, jangan diangkat, nggak kuat" and she looked pretty much incensed at the suggestion that she's not strong enough that she said "kuat!" while lifting the chair to prove it.

She can't take "No!" for an answer though, we have to explain to her why she can't go to the front terrace after dark, why I can't let her walk (because she hasn't put on her shoes yet), and she'd think about it for a while and only then she agreed.

Oh, and my daughter now is trying to deceive us!!! I should not be proud of this trait, but it never cease to amaze me!!.  It happened first time when she threw up one day and I took her to a doctor and he prescribed a medicine.  The next day while she's playing on her bed, her nanny and I told her that it was time to take her medicine, and immediately, she hugged her "guweng" -- guling--. and said, "Tatuk, tatuk" -- ngantuk, ngantuk.  

I thought it was funny and just a rare event, but then she applied that to my mom when she's giving her dinner, and fooled her!  My mom stopped giving her dinner and asked my nanny to change her clothing, ready for her bed.  

My mom told me that Felicia's sleepy and she didn't finish her dinner.  Of course I told her about the other day incident, so now when Felicia claimed to be "Tatuk" during her meal, her nanny and my mom knows better.  And rightly so, immediately after she finished her meal, she'd asked for her favourite toy, "(Th)omas!!"

Yup, despite the plenty of stuffed animals she has and enjoys playing with occasionally, and despite my efforts to introduce her to Barbie (which she couldn't care less), she's now quite obsessed with Thomas & His Friends.

She's frantic and kept picking up the plenty Thomas toys in the stores and she looked quite unsure when both her hands were full but she saw another Thomas toys that she'd love to have.  She kept pointing out "Thomas!!" to Lawrence and me and giggling...

Already she got two almost identical Thomas (one is bigger than the other and the bigger one can roll his eyes!!), and three Thomas CDs.  I got her the CD after she kept whining after the Thomas episodes finished in the cable TV.

I know, I spoil her.  

Can't help it though, it breaks my heart when she said "uuuuuuu....." and her nose and eyes are getting red...

Anyhow, she loves Thomas so much that when we asked her to copy Thomas rolling his eyes, She did!! Well, not rolling her eyes, only blinking repeatedly...

Oh, and she also know how to handle a pen, she'd asked to "Tuwis" -- Tulis -- and then grab the pen, and if she's holding too far from the tip, she'd adjust her hand and starts scribbling on the paper.  

She also knows "phone"  and always pretends as if she's talking with someone, only she's holding the phone backward, and she'd say "(H)alo ... iya..." and proceed with the intelligent baby talks I don't quite understand -- I'm not that smart, but she's a genius!! hehehehe....

I've decided to send her to school when she's 2 years old, a pre-school/nursery school, but have not quite made up my mind between a Montessori School and another school associated with FunGates

Both use English and neither offer program in Chinese (at least not the FunGates here in Indonesia), but I believe Felicia would do just fine learning Chinese in kindergarten later on.  Another school, Surabaya Children Academy, offered both Chinese and English, but it was so far away on the other side of the city.  Their closer branch is not so good i think.

Anyhow...have started to blabber here....

I'll ask Ming to post the pictures later on...as for now...I really have to start earning my salary instead of writing blogs and reading e-books during office hour!!

Gong Xi!! ... full account on the Lunar New Year 2009's Tour of Duty...

Yesterday we celebrated the much anticipated yet dreaded event: The Lunar New Year...

The celebration started on Sunday night, when we gathered for the New Year's Eve dinner party at Kowloon with my dad in law's families...I brought Felicia as well, and it soon became obvious that she's the most active toddler in the hood....She walked around, she tried to follow where other kids are doing (including going to the stage), she danced when she saw the barongsai, she screamed when Ming won't give her sampler of the first dish (to the amusement of Ming's cousins...)

Speaking of cousins, I still haven't remembered all the cousins name from Ming's dad's side...come to think of it, I don't remember the name of all the uncles/aunts from his side...then there are their respective wives/husbands...then their children (Uncle N, does he have four or three children, that dude over there, i've seen him several times, whose child is he?  Uncle X or Aunt Y??)  then their children's spouses...then their grandchildren...FYI, my dad in law is from a family of 9 brothers and sisters...(my mom in law has 10 siblings, my mom has 7 siblings, three of them has dearly departed) and for the brothers, their names all start with Wen-something..., oh but I do have to mention that three of them has distinctive (nick)name: Hong Kong Uncle (because he lives in Hong Kong), Bagong (because...I'm not sure why actually...) and the oldest brother, who everybody called the Great Ogre behind his back.  I'm not going to speculate why.

Anyway, after the night of celebration, the next morning we started the Tour of Duty from my parents in law's house where we had the traditional misoa breakfast at 10 am.  My parents in law have quite a big fish pond and also keep a pair of chicken at the back of the house.  That was the first time Felicia saw a chicken, and Felicia's laughing when she saw the chicken's antiques and heard the noises that chicken usually made.  Oh, and she enjoyed going up and down the stairs and loved the elevator ride as well...

Then we went to my mom in law's family.

Although I'm much more familiar with her family than my dad in law's family (one of Ming's cousins from mom side actually got married with the daughter of my dad's cousin), there's still that confusion over how to call who...leave it to the chinese to have every name for each different relationship; they won't settle for Aunt or Uncle, the way you called your dad's older sister is different from the way you called your dad's younger sister and both cannot be applied to your mom's younger or older sister, which have their own way of calling.  There's Giu Nyong, I'ie, Wa'i...and so forth....I have to practically whispered to ko Ming Ming and ask, "So, how should I call that aunt in red and white shirt..." and so forth...

Anyway, after a very brief visit (which is actually last for 45 minutes), which includes an obligatory KiongHi/GongXi, dividing angpaos and receiving angpaos on Felicia's behalf, plus tasting the feast, we said our goodbyes and headed to my parents.

Since my sisters are not in town, and since my grandmother (who used to live with us) has passed away, my parents are only expecting my family.  So lunch is more subdued, though my dad's younger brother did come for a visit and Cici's boyfriend, who's from a holland sprechen background also stopped by.  Which is very nice of him.  I can see plainly that he's very uncomfortable coz he's never been to such visit, and there's only my dad who accompanied him.  and my mom.  not exactly how a 21 year old guy would imagine spending a holiday.  

So the effort is well noticed and appreciated, Aldo ;)

Anyway, after the lunch in my parents' house, we all drove to my granddad from my dad's side home.  well, not exactly his home, rather my cousin's home where my granddad stayed during his visit in Surabaya.  This would be the first time he saw my Felicia, his great-granddaughter, as he has been in central java in the past two years.  Felicia made a great impression as usual.  She is really not afraid of the dog there, and in fact when the dog hid under a chain, she tried to reach him, coaxed him out and gave something to him.  The dog is bigger than our poms and reach her chest, but she's not afraid at all...

Anyways, after that visit, we took a deep breath, and went home at 2:15 pm.

All of us got a nice, long nap, and when we woke up, it's already 6pm.  We took a shower and got ready for the last visit to my mom's family.  

We gathered in our Aking's house (that's how we called the wives of my uncles from my mom's family side, which is different from how the wives from Ming's uncles from Ming's family side).  Felicia met my cousin's daughter, who's two months younger, and have a very pretty eyes.  She extended her hands when I asked her too, but Karen didn't want to shake hands with Felicia...or perhaps she doesn't understand yet.  For the first ten minutes, they became the centre of the attentions, since last year both of them are only babies who's doing nothing but sleeping and crying and now they're babies who started walking, managed to make a mess out of everything, screaming, and cooing baby talks.  

Then more cousins arrive, more uncles and aunts, my cousins' cousin, and my cousins' fiances/girlfriends, my cousins's children and their respective boyfriends/girlfriend and so forth...

Surprisingly, this time, they really do not have something bad to say.  Which is weird since last year they still managed to comment on my weight, Felicia's (lack of) hair and nose.  But this year, they are all very well-behaved I must say.  

Anyway, one thing that my mom's family know how to do it right is how to make the spicy sauce.  Which is the most anticipated dish really.  I think that if Ming's family is what you'd call a Totok Family, mine is leaning toward peranakan, so the dishes are more decidedly indonesian.

Starving as we were, we're waiting patiently until the Sambal is ready, served in a huge cowek in the middle ( I should have took pictures!!).  It was Sambal Terasi Terong, with just the right degree of spiciness that can make you sweat just enough and sent tingling sensation to heightened your senses.

Anyway....after the dinner and desert (es puter), we went home, and so ended the holiday which is more like a hard working day for us.  

Now...as usual, a couple of days before the celebration, all wives would sit down and distribution the angpao's money, and by the end of the celebration, all moms sit down and start counting money and so was I.  And this year, I don't actually need to count to know that I may actually lose money: the money I gave away is far more than the money I received.  But it is really not a bad thing, I actually felt sincerely pleased because I know that the money I gave away is for our parents and grandparents.  The money I gave away for cousins and cousins's children have significant returns I must say hahahahhaa....

Felicia got a lot of angpao, far more than Ming and I used to get, but since she's still 16 months, to my dismay she usually threw away the red envelopes once she received them.  She also refused to do Gongxi although she knows how.  

But in overall, we're happy to see how much she learnt and how much she has grown and how she's interacting with other people (she's the boss, and she makes sure everyone knows it).  

In overall, it has been a good visits, especially since Ming has decided to cooperate and only one time he asked me why we're doing this ( I said because we have to, and decided not to respond when he wailed "But why??").

I was also ready to go to my mom's family celebration at night alone with my parents, but he gamely joined us, which is a pleasant surprise indeed.

Now I was thinking if next year would be easier if we bail to Singapore....(could be cheaper too!!) ...   

History in the Making

Last night I watched CNN, live coverage of President Barrack Obama's inaugurial speech.  At first I planned to sleep early, but me mom called and told me about the ceremony.  I started watching from 10 pm and it went on and on and on....

And when he delivered the speech...it's all worth it.  

I didn't watch it because he's the first African American to be president ( I often wondered how convenient it is for people to forget about his white mother), but I watched it because, regardless of the color of his skin, he seems to be truly, one great person.  A true leader, someone trustworthy, with integrity, and mindful of others.  It's like, he should be a reverend, or spiritual guru, or write a self-help book.  Definately not a politician.  that's for sure.

And his speech....Oh my, it was perfect.  I have never been the one who's interested in politics, but after hearing his speech, it made me want to stand up and said, "YEAH!!"  and proud about being American...until a second later I realized that I'm not an American.  and he's not my president.  

Anyway, I have no favorite line from the speech, and I equally love his " Yes, We Can " victory speech last November 5th, 2008 in Chicago (it's 3 parts! -- if you want to jump to the exciting part, you should go to part 3, but you'd appreciate it more when you listen from the start) 

But as I listened to him, I remembered how my mom always told me how great of an orator President Soekarno was.  How when he delivered his speech, everybody from the most educated and from the rickshaw drivers, all stopped and listened from the radio.  

Having to endure President Soeharto's so-called speech (reading directly from the transcript, without any eye contact) which was on air in all television stations, both private and public ( I imagine the Ministry of Information put a gun behind the stations' owners to force them to air it), I have always been curious about it.

And when President Obama gave his speech, I know that I have to make sure Felicia will have the opportunity to listen to it.  After all, I hope one day Felicia will read this blog, and understand a little bit more about her mom, about who I am as a person, what I like and dislike, and what I considered important.  And this, is important.  

He personifies hope and defiance of what people deemed impossible.  

And although he is not my president, and we do not live in America and we're not American, I can't help but thinking, Yes, I want Felicia to know that She Can too; not only having dream, but also make it come true.  I would not laugh if she said she wants to be President, or Austronout, or Writer, or Journalist, or Teacher, or perhaps even, a Librarian.  

Yes, She Can.

Some quotations from his inaugurial speech...

" ...we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of short-cuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted — for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things — ...who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom."

"But our time of standing pat, of protecting narrow interests and putting off unpleasant decisions — that time has surely passed. Starting today, we must pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off, and begin again the work of remaking America."

"Now, there are some who question the scale of our ambitions — who suggest that our system cannot tolerate too many big plans. Their memories are short. For they have forgotten what this country has already done; what free men and women can achieve when imagination is joined to common purpose, and necessity to courage."

"They understood that our power alone cannot protect us, nor does it entitle us to do as we please. Instead, they knew that our power grows through its prudent use; our security emanates from the justness of our cause, the force of our example, the tempering qualities of humility and restraint."

"To those who cling to power through corruption and deceit and the silencing of dissent, know that you are on the wrong side of history; but that we will extend a hand if you are willing to unclench your fist."

"For as much as government can do and must do, it is ultimately the faith and determination of the American people upon which this nation relies."

And of course...

"Our challenges may be new. The instruments with which we meet them may be new. But those values upon which our success depends — honesty and hard work, courage and fair play, tolerance and curiosity, loyalty and patriotism — these things are old. These things are true. They have been the quiet force of progress throughout our history. What is demanded then is a return to these truths. What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility — a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task."

Felicia, listen to what Mr. Obama has to say!

Happy New Year!!

Lawrence, Vivi, and Felicia
Would like to wish you

A Happy New Year....

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