Picture for the 8th

Well tomorrow is Felicia's ONE MONTH CELEBRATION!!! Yaaaay!! So we send out gift baskets (mostly foodstuffs). There are two versions, the one from Vivi's family (left side) and the other one from mine (right side).
And Felicia has this to say:

Huh?? Whaddya mean? Grrrr!


But it doesn't matter, cause daddy's here!! Yaaay!

Good picture?

Dont watch this picture for too long cause I feel sleepy when I see it, YAAAAAAAWN


Seriously, YAAAAAAWWWWWWWWNNNNNN!

On dengue fever

I just found out that the church behind my house had just had an epidemic...

40 people got sick from dengue fever!!! no wonder!!!!  could be because they're constructing this huge new building next to their old one, and somehow disturb the mosquitoes?  

I dunno, but at least now I know that I was one of the victim and not just because i'm "weak" (like they all said) after giving birth...

routines...

So now I've established some kind of routine in my daily activities,

I woke up at 7am every morning, or whenever Ming woke up.  Then preparing bread and coffee/tea for Ming.  Then after Ming left, placing my baby under the morning sun for 5 - 10 minutes.  Then when Felicia is taking a morning shower (with her nanny), I check the email, browsing the net, working out, having my own shower...

After that, it's gonna be around 9:30  to 10am.  Then i bring Felicia to my bedroom, played some DVD, doing some office work...until approximately 12:00 when I have to feed her.  Then doing some more office work until 2:00, feed her again, then taking a nap until 3pm or 3:30pm, then bathing Felicia until around 4pm.

Then browsing internet again.  Then taking shower, then watching the Simpson, then Friends.

Afterwards, waiting for Ming.  in the afternoon, Felicia spend most of her time with her nanny.  I only showed up when she eats at around 8pm and again at around 11pm.  I usually watch TV with Ming.  Then I slept around 11 or midnite, while setting my alarm at 2:30am to go to the nursery room and sometimes either holding her after she eats or giving her the milk.  or finding out that she's done with her meal, and already sleeps so I can go back to bed.

Then i go back to bed and wake up again at 7:00am

repeat.  five times a week.  and during weekend I usually beg Ming to take me outside, though only for 30 minutes eating Mie Undaan...

Chiki Balls!!

yesterday while I'm feeling blue from my weight problem, my hubby came home from a wedding party and bought me chiki balls cheese!!! (don't worry, it's only 100cal and I didn't have dinner)

lil things like that really make me love him more....hehehehe...

~~~~~

Today I felt better.  I know there's no point of getting depressed over my weight without doing anything.  So this one month I'll work out, do detox, drink a lot of water, skipping rice, and we'll see how it works.  

If it doesn't work, then I'll report to you guys ...

(I definately want to go back to my original weight before Chinese New Year!)

I need to lose weight!!!!!

Last nite for the first time, Felicia slept with her nanny.  My mom in law has told me many times that Felicia should sleep in the nursery room with her nanny, while my hubby and I slept in different room.

Of course I didn't have the heart to let her sleep alone with a stranger, so until yesterday she always slept with us or with my mum in the nursery room while I got sick last week.

But now that I'm feeling better, Ming didn't feel well.  Apparently there's a flu epidemic in the office.  So Ming and Felicia can't sleep in the same room.  For the first couple of nights, I slept in the nursery room with the nanny and Felicia.  

But after a while, well...I miss my hubby too.  So yesterday I decided that the nanny has stayed with us for quite some time and I can trust her.  sort of.

Last nite I stayed up until 3Am.  I couldn't sleep and kept making visits to the nursery room.  I still fed her at 11:30pm, then again at 2:30 am.  then my baby was up and I still got the chance to hold her until 3:00am.  I gave up then, feeling so exhausted.  my nanny told me that my baby stayed up until 4am before finally sleeping again.  

tonite, I'm going to do the same, going to set up the alarm at her feeding time and making visits to her room.  Of course my parents didn't know.  they'll be horrified if they found out that Felicia didn't sleep with us at nite.

But I thought, well, it's not as if I abandoned her...and I will still stay with her when she's up...

anyway, this morning, after restless sleep, i woke up at 10:30am....hahahaha...then I asked Ming to go to the mall...doing some grocery shopping and eating out.  I've never thought I'd be so happy going to the mall....but let's face it, I haven't been out much in the past month, and I'm happy to get ANY chance of doing something different...

Of course, my mum called me, warning me that: 1). I shouldn't be going out before the 40th day and 2).  I shouldn't leave my baby with the nanny for long.  (apparently 2 hours are still too long).

At first I felt great.  I found jeans that still fit me, and I took it as good sign.  But then I met 3 people who revel at my weight gain.  At first I laughed with one of them, but by the third person, who didn't recognize me by the way, I started feeling horrible. One of them is my best friend who took a good look at me from top down, and said, "you seemed to be fatter from the last time I saw you"...well, I did still have 10 KG to lose!!! but then again, come on man!!! it's not even yet a month after I gave birth!! I'd like to see how she looks like when she gave birth later on...

I felt horrible now.  feeling fat and ugly.  everyone keep saying how fat I'm getting and my mum in law even said that I shouldn't feed my baby too much, what if she's getting fat like me??

at the same time, they all said that I should keep eating a lot so that I'm in good health.

wtf???

I just thought...I don't want to get pregnant again.  horrible eh?  I hate thinking like that, but it's so very true.  I just thought, man, it's difficult losing 10KG.  last time I did it, it take me a whole year, horrible exercise, diet pills, and not eating rice.  

And now they gave me that look again.  the "oh-my-god-you're-so-fat" look again.  and it makes me well...depressed.  

Of course Ming has been kind and understanding.  He didn't say anything about my weight.  yet.  hhh....

anyway...don't want to continue writing now... i thought I'll feel better but apparently not.

I have at least 5KG to lose before I start going back to work next month.  and honestly, I don't know how I can lose it...(So far I did exercise, reduce food intake, and taking detox, and I lost 5KG fast, but then got stuck at my current weight....hhhh....)

any ideas guys?

Oh the joy of rocking!!

They warned me about it.  They told me not to do it and avoid it at any cost.

But of course, I wouldn't listen.

And now, my smart daughter can smell guilt from a hundred yard.  She can tell if the one's taking care of her is just a maid and she wouldn't bother crying.

But once I enter the room (or her nanny, or her grandma) she starts pulling her act, weeping and crying (boy, she's L.O.U.D), demanding to be hold.

Yup, I'm talking about "tuman digendong", or in plain english, a state of mind when the baby realizes the comfort and joy to be hold and refuses to sleep/eat/do other activities unless she's in your arms.

At first I thought it was a compliment that she loves it when I hold her close to me.  Though my mum told me that I didn't hold her correctly, and though Ming's friends gasped when they saw the way I hold her.  

But she loves it, she fell asleep peacefully in my arms.  I sing her lullaby, I talked to her softly, I rocked her gently...then her eyes started to get really heavy, and you can just see her strugging to keep them open...

Then I start lowering her down...and she grabbed my shirt!!!! she grabbed my shirt and hold her body in such a way that you know she doesn't want to lay on her bed, she just wants to be in your arms...

Then I try again...caressing her forehead gently, rocking her again, singing her lullaby again....then lowering her down...very slowly...slowly....and she open her eyes wide again and start crying her eyes out!!!!!

I laughed out loud...don't know whether it is out of frustration or amusement.  

It takes three attempts and a total of one hour to finally let her in such a deep sleep that she didn't realize I'm lowering her down.

Oh, and last nite she's also cranky again...after her feed she refuses to sleep and yup, wants to be carried again... though last nite I suspect a minor thunder plays a part (she kept waking up whenever there's thunder)

On another matter, I'm plagued with gifts that I hadn't got the chance to open....I have a total of three strollers now, countless baby bags and a lot more of baby bottles...I picked one stroller, but still left with other gifts.  I guess I'd better open them during the weekend.  

Not that I'm ungrateful, I love receiving gifts!! from someone I know.  In this case, we receive quite a lot from in laws' friends.  Which are all appreciated of course ... I just have to keep track of them.  and figure out what to do with five baby bags....